Sometimes Other’s Just Don’t Understand

You really learn who your friends are when they discover you have a child with Austim.

You go out shopping, to restaurants or to playgrounds and people just look at you funny like you have no idea how to manage your own child. They give you nasty looks, or make comments or even have the nastiness to say something to you or to your child to correct her think that will actually do something and when it doesn’t it must be that you never discipline because this child obviously misbehaved due to poor parenting.

You try to volunteer at your church/synagogue, child’s school, join in on committees or gift exchanges but because of your child’s crazy schedule or weird sleep habits, odd behavior at home like destroying an entire room, you can’t seem to manage to get organized enough to get out of the house let alone to a meeting on time or mail off a package on time that people start to think of you as a flake or seriously irresponsible. They start to give you strange looks when you walk by them at church or send you “please don’t bother joining” notes either through the mail or email your “kind” of help isn’t needed.

Then there are those friends of yours who just cannot comprehend what it is you go through because they have the “perfect” children. The child who you tell to go to bed at 8 PM, wake up at 7 AM, make your bed, sit at the table, dress yourself, pick up your toys, share your stuff, recite your ABC’s and 1 2 3’s and they can do it all with no questions asked. They are the kids who are wonderful and lovely and their parents have absolutely no worries about them and have no clue why Miss Sunshine acts the way she does and don’t really want their kids playing with her afraid her Autism might rub off on them.

I then have two categories of rare friends. The first are those who really and truly want to still be a part of our lives but aren’t sure what we are going through nor do they know how to act. The second unconditionally want to be a part of Miss Sunshine and my life. I treasure both of these minimal sets of friends. They are rare and far between and if you find either kind I suggest you grab them and hold on to them.

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2 Responses to “Sometimes Other’s Just Don’t Understand”

  1. Chelle Says:

    (((hugs))) I can somewhat relate with you in regards to finding out who your real friends are. I’ve lost most of mine, when I started using aids and becoming more public with my vision loss. A lot of them didn’t believe me that I hadn’t lost anymore vision than I had the months or weeks before I broke down and got my first white cane. It’s not that I didn’t spend hours before the cane trying to explain to them how much funtional (really how little) vision I do have. They were really strange around me and started to find excuses not to go out and do things with me and if they did the didn’t know how to act around me now that I was now “legally blind”. It’s the people who stick by you and still treat you and yours as real people instead of a disablity or a family member of a person who has a disablity.

    Hang in there, I know times are tough but the little things that make you smile about Little Miss Sunshine make you smile even brighter because you and your daughter worked hard to get to that moment.

  2. My Autism treatment site Says:

    My Autism treatment site

    Doctors may be learning another way of detecting exactly what is or isn’ t going on in the brain as it relates to autism or spectrum disorders. Magnetoencephalography (MEG) is showing doctors what works or doesn’ t work in the autistic brain (our b…

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